Over 24 years ago, my family moved to the UK. I was 10. I was comfortable reading and writing in English. But I didn’t speak much. Whatever I did speak was with a thick Indian accent.
From my packed lunch to the drums I brought in for “show-and-tell”, everything was different. Without a doubt, I was the foreigner.
There was some racism. I didn’t know that’s what it was called. It just felt like regular bullying (but in English). My six-year-old sister had a much worse time (till her primary school teacher changed). But today, all I remember is that my classmates and teachers were kind. They welcomed me. They cheered for me when I did something good (e.g. showed off my drumming skills; threw a cricket ball farther than anybody else; delivered my lines perfectly in the play). They helped me improve my pronunciation without making me feel small. They invited me to their birthday parties and also came to mine. They made me feel accepted. They helped me understand their culture, and helped me make it mine.
So every time I hear a foreigner say “British culture…binge drinking, right?”, or an extreme left activist state, “British culture is slave trade”, or an extreme right activist state “, British culture is dead”… I cringe a little.
British culture is facing a storm of sorts. But I assure you: it’s alive and well. And it’s beautiful.
Here’s a list of things that make me feel British.
Facing gale-force winds that burn your skin but holding the door open for the person walking some 15-20 feet behind you
Saying “Please” and “Thank you” with a smile
Offering to make tea/coffee for your colleagues when you go to make yours
Using the weather for small talk
Forming a queue and not cutting in line
Following the traffic rules
Not disturbing others when in a public space
Briefly locking eyes with someone else when an idiot decides to play loud music on their phone, taking turns to give them “the stare”
London’s musicals
When a crowd of thousands of people break into an anthem together at a sports event
County parks and arboretums
Hunting for things in charity shops
Allotments
Pub quizzes
Tea made in this order: bag, water, wait, milk (consumed with digestive biscuit)
Museums around the country
Saying thank you to the bus driver before getting off
Knowing the voice of Sir David Attenborough
Mr Bean
James Bond
Village markets
Farmer’s markets
A whole road full of cars automatically working together to make space the second they hear the siren from an emergency vehicle
The high street
Rambling (if you know, you know)
Flashing the hazard lights when driving to say thank you, when the car behind gives you space
Reading corners at primary schools and reading time at home
Having 10-15 different names for a bread roll (e.g. stottie, bap, cob, batch…)
Football fever
Foraging
Throwing the litter in the bin
The accents
The “nod exchange of civility” between the person crossing on a zebra crossing and the drivers who stop to give them way
Sea dip… no matter what the weather is like
Club cricket
Cheese on toast
Feeling at home when trees turn orange and red in autumn
Listed buildings
Baked beans and toast
Being made to run cross-country for PE, in the winter
The music of church bells
Being passionate, assertive, and polite… whilst being indirect (let the receiver work it out)
Looking for the most perfect acorns on the way back from school
Pasties (including the exotic flavours)
Conkers
The sight of our flags waving gracefully in the breeze on a beautiful summer’s day
Buying a pint for yourself and making sure the guy who doesn’t drink alcohol has a pint of something
Crumpets with butter
An ability to live and let live
Visits to cathedrals (combined with an afternoon tea)
Smiling at someone as you walk past and saying “Good morning/evening” or “Hiya!”
Caravan holidays
Punch and Judy
Village and school fêtes
Mince pies (with double cream)
Scones, with clotted cream and jam (cream first)
Lollypop men/women near schools
The summer and the ice-cream van’s melody floating about in the neighbourhood
Chestnuts in winter
Music festivals and camping
Work-life balance
Cheese rolling
There are some negative aspects too. Attitudes towards “the rich”, obsession with the “working class”, illogical adherence to health and safety, Empire amnesia/denial, an attitude of indifference regarding the nation, a fixation with political correctness (how about just correctness?), more talkers than doers, a political landscape that doesn’t understand balance. But it doesn’t mean we are doomed. It just means that this is a normal country. There are two sides to the coin. There is room to do better.
At the core of Britain’s cultural atoms, you will find: dry wit, warmth, honesty, diligence, and strength.
To anyone who takes an extreme view on the state of British culture:
Read the list again (please).